'Amsterdam Empire' Netflix Review: Dutch Crime Drama Is Too Annoying To Be Entertaining

A couple of days ago, I was complaining about shows being mismarketed. The first example that came to my mind was Peacemaker Season 2, whose finale was touted by James Gunn himself as this epic bridge between Superman and Man of Tomorrow. He claimed that there were plot elements that were so insane that he had to hide them from his own publicist. But when everyone watched the final product, it turned out to be a damp squib. Then I watched The Asset, which was presented as an action-driven crime series even though it had no action in it at all. In fact, it started off as this thriller about a PET cadet infiltrating a drug ring in order to nab a notorious gangster, only to jarringly turn into a show about domestic abuse. And now, after slogging through Amsterdam Empire, I am beginning to wonder if the marketing experts have been fumbling the ball because they’re getting to see just the first 20 minutes of a 7-episode show. I fear that they are not being shown the whole thing because the producers don’t want to leak the fact that the writers are flailing around aimlessly in the hopes of putting together something entertaining.

Created by Piet Matthys, Nico Moolenaar, and Bart Uytdenhouwen, with the episodes being directed by Jonas Govaerts and Max Porcelijn, Amsterdam Empire tells the story of Jack van Doorn, the CEO of a coffeeshop empire called the Jackal. But the Jackal isn’t famous for its coffee; it’s actually the weed that draws everyone to his massive enterprise. Jack is a well-known figure in the city, so much so that the boat-bound tour guide singles him out from a bridge full of people in order to tell his customers Jack’s story. But that’s when things go sideways as an unknown assailant guns down Jack, potentially killing him. As he bleeds out, the clock is turned back by a whole month to show us the building blocks of this incident. Jack was married to an ex-pop star named Betty Jonkers. When they were going through a rough patch, Jack began a relationship with an incredibly famous TV presenter named Marjolein Hofman. Now, Jack would have announced his new fling to the world after divorcing Betty. However, Betty got to know about the affair while they were still married. And although Jack had called it quits with her so that he could go and live with Marjolein, Betty wasn’t in the mood to let her husband off the hook so easily, thereby leading to a mud-slinging war that got brutal by the second.

On paper, sure, the premise of Amsterdam Empire might seem interesting. Maybe there’s a learning lesson there as well about how you shouldn’t get too cocky once you make it to the top. You might feel invincible despite making a slew of wrong decisions. But the thing about consequences is that, unless you are uber-rich and you die while you are at the peak of your prowess, they’ll find you and haunt you. And that’s a good reminder, especially for cheaters like Jack. However, beyond that, the script’s a nothingburger, and I think that’s the case because of the writers’ decision to treat the whole thing as a soap drama-esque comedy. They never allow the seriousness of any of the character decisions to truly settle in. They keep undercutting them with the most annoying forms of cringe humor. The rare moments they do get serious, it doesn’t really make an impact because, by then, your mind has been trained to treat everything like it’s comedy. The worst part about the storytelling is that it fails to inject meaning into Jack’s life before his death. I mean, that’s the whole point of the “How did we get here?” form of flashback, right? If you are not doing that, and instead you are focused on petty three-way bickering, then why take that approach at all? You shouldn’t do something just because you can.

Amsterdam Empire isn’t great to look at as well. The only time the visuals and the narrative came together in an entertaining fashion was when Jack rode a phallic-looking mechanical bull. No, it wasn’t just the thing that Jack was riding that made that moment engaging; the fact that the Jackal’s fate depended on Jack’s ability to hold onto that toy was what raised the stakes and made that scene somewhat riveting. After that, it went back to being boring. And the bland visual storytelling will particularly irk you when you start to notice all the missed opportunities that could have been utilized to make something memorable. As in, you’ll genuinely question what’s up with the directors and the crew. Did they have no emotional investment in this project? Did they just want to shoot every single scene in the most basic way possible and go home? I mean, in this economy, I understand doing a project for the paycheck, but in the long run, this kind of mentality is bound to destroy art. I know that I sound hyperbolic, but that’s only because we have lowered our standards so much that every day we are convinced that shows like these are the new norm. Spoiler alert: it’s not. We can expect better, and we do deserve better. Credit where credit is due, those in charge of the coloring and color correction have done a good job.

When it comes to the acting, I think it’s safe to say that the ability to emote is integral to a performance. An actor’s face is as important as their physicality. But the need to look perpetually young is robbing actors of their expressive range. And this needs to stop immediately. I am being really serious. I know that a number of fashion, culture, and entertainment channels on YouTube have addressed this issue. However, critics need to protest this as well, because these kinds of trends are really detrimental to the art form. It’s okay to look old. It’s totally fine to let your age show through to the audience. Those who are critiquing your wrinkles instead of seeing how you are using them to build the character you are playing, trust me, they are not interested in your performance. So, it’s best to ignore them and ensure that your face stays emotive throughout your career as an actor. I genuinely feel that production houses and actors unions should actively try to push back against this menace. Or else there will come a time when you’ll have a decent story in your hands, but you’ll be forced to work with actors who can’t act. Do I think fixing that aspect would have made Amsterdam Empire watchable? Maybe, but we’ll never know.