Dear Life Recap: How Does Lillian Cope After Ash’s Death?

“Dear Life”, created and directed by Robyn Butler and Wayne Hope, is a series that explores the loss of a loved one, failed hopes of the future, strained relationships, and the unusual equation between an organ recipient and their donor. When Lillian’s fiancé, Ash, passes away, she is distressed and unable to face her new reality. However, things take a bizarre turn when she receives a letter of thanks from the recipient of Ash’s heart. Additionally, the perpetrator behind Ash’s death hired a high-end lawyer who was determined to get him out of jail with a clean chit. In doing so, he jeopardized Lillian’s best friend and Ash’s colleague, Mary’s, job and upended her life. Caught in the middle of the storm is Lillian’s cousin, Hamish, who is Mary’s husband and ended up being the support system for everyone around him when they were falling apart. As the three navigate their tumultuous careers, interpersonal relationships, and the trauma of Ash’s demise, life continues. “Dear Life”, despite being an uncomplicated story, manages to bring about some genuine moments of struggle and relief, but ultimately, for me, it lacked a real anchor in the form of acting and justifications to be able to empathize with everything that took place.

Spoilers Ahead

The story opens with a New Year’s Eve party at the Ballarat rowing club, where Ash asks Lillian to marry her. Amidst fireworks and celebrations, the two vow to be together forever in front of their group of friends. But a year later, Lillian is struggling to get out of bed, is drinking her wits away, and is fired from her job as an actor at the living museum showcasing life in the 1800s. She is expected to write a victim’s impact statement to encapsulate how the incident that took Ash’s life affected her. She is supported at every step by her cousin, Hamish, and her best friend and also his wife, Mary, who was Ash’s colleague. Mary, the emergency room head at the hospital where Ash worked, tries to get Lillian to seek psychiatric help to cope as well as collect her thoughts in order to write her statement, but she refuses to acknowledge her condition. Ash, prior to his death, had asked for his organs to be donated, which was consented to by Lillian, who was named as his next of kin. Amidst this, Andrew, Ash’s heart recipient, writes Lillian a letter to thank her for saving his life. Lillian decides to stalk him and reaches his winery, but on seeing Ash, Andrew flinches. Ash or Ashley Dost was perhaps Iranian and not white, as Andrew had probably expected. But seeing Andrew react in this way, Lillian went down a rabbit hole and forced the donation agency to make all the recipients of Ash’s organs write letters of thanks to her.

On the side, we find out that Mary had to write a statement like Lillian as well, but unlike Lillian, she had to present it in court as well for Jordan, Ash’s perpetrator, to be tried. Mary is struggling as well but she is unable to express how she feels. As a result, she keeps lashing out at Hamish and the doctor who replaced Ash. Ash was punched in the head by a teenager on drugs who had brought his girlfriend to the E.R. one night, leading to his death. Mary had witnessed the incident, and every time she was at work, the event played in her head time and again. Hamish, a graphic designer by profession and a stay-at-home husband, is the one running to help the women in his life every time they seem unstable. Lillian and Hamish were not close with their well-off families and lived modestly in comparison, but when Janet, Ash’s mother, tricks Lillian into paying for an extravagant funeral, she is forced to work at her parents’ clinic. In the meantime, Andrew feels guilty about the way he reacted and apologizes to Lillian, who, in turn, invites him for dinner. After that dinner, Andrew takes an unexplained liking towards the trio and tries getting closer to them at every chance available. When Jordan pleads ‘not guilty,’ Mary loses her temper and threatens his girlfriend in public, which is captured on video and used as leverage. She seeks Andrew’s help in sorting this fiasco while Lillian receives another letter from one of Ash’s recipients.

Taylor, who suffered from cystic fibrosis, received Ash’s lungs and invited Lillian to meet her. Lillian, on the other hand, had developed a knack for stalking as she parked her car outside Taylor’s house and watched their house day in and day out. After meeting Taylor and seeing how hard she had to struggle to stay alive despite the lungs, Lillian saw how hurtful her ways had been. With Andrew’s help, Mary managed undoing the damage that video of hers had done, and Jordan was denied bail. On the side, Janet, Ash’s mother, holds a deep-seated grudge against Lillian because she believes that not only did she take away her son, but Lillian was also the reason Ash wasn’t even buried as a whole body. She was beyond furious and beyond reason to move past what she believed despite knowing fully well that the reality was completely different. After borrowing money from her parents, Lillian had to work with them as a receptionist at their clinic, but being around them made her miserable. By a twist of fate, she managed to pay off her debts by selling some of Ash’s belongings. While Mary’s hostile behavior towards Hamish had pushed them to the brink of ending their marriage, they found a way back to each other as Mary finally opened up about her struggles to him. With Jordan being denied bail, Mary and Hamish on good terms, and Lillian’s debts paid, it did end well for the trio. 

I don’t believe she does because there has been no such indication. In fact, towards the end, when Lillian reaches out to Janet when she finds the baby shoes of Ash that she was looking for, Janet still refuses to move ahead with her life. I felt that by punishing Lillian, Janet was also punishing her son, who had abandoned her. After her husband, Taj, had passed away, Janet had raised Ash by herself in a foreign country, surrounded by an unfamiliar culture. And if Andrew’s reaction to Ash’s skin color meant anything, it must have been very difficult to raise a child when everyone around you looked at you like you didn’t belong there. It is said in the series that Ash felt smothered by his mother, but I’m not sure if that is a good enough reason to cut all ties with her and name a person you’re not even married to as your next of kin. If it were me, I would be downright offended. And to also know that Ash was keeping in touch with his aunt, Janet’s sister, and sending her pictures from his engagement but not to his mother, I’m not sure I understand why that was. What I also don’t understand is why Janet went to the extent of tricking Lillian into signing off on a contract to pay for Ash’s funeral. Do people do that- I mean, do they sign contracts to make payments for events like funerals? Isn’t that usually discussed in person? 

Also, if you think about it, Lillian signing a contract without reading it even once is strange especially given it came from a person that her fiancé categorically hated. To be very honest, the story of Dear Life was patchy. They really sensationalized things that did not deserve any attention because the issue with that is you need to justify why you’re doing that for it to make sense. And if you’re not going to explain yourself, then don’t focus so much on it. Let me give you the smallest example to make a point here. The whole series relies heavily on Ash’s death and his decision to donate his organs. Imagine a fully grown doctor in an E.R. full of patients and a horde of other doctors, dying because a teenager punched him in the head. He was in a hospital, so literally in the lap of immediate medical help and he still managed to die. This made me appreciate car accidents all of a sudden. The least they could’ve done was give that kid a hammer or maybe a tray to bang Ash’s head with. About his decision to donate organs, when did he decide that? He was a 30-year-old man who was a cyclist and a rower, so he was at the peak of his health with no known illnesses. We are to believe that he was proposing to his girlfriend on one hand and signing off agreements to donate his organs on the other? Had these been side-details, I would’ve looked past them but this is what the series is based on. These details are the backbone. If that is weak, how does the rest of the story hold up or make sense? I would like to end it with that. The essence of Dear Life is beautiful and warm, but I believe it lacked impact and was ultimately forgettable.