There’s no universal rule for when couples in serious relationships should take the next step. Every relationship moves at its own pace, and only people involved in it can decide when they’re ready to commit to each other for (hopefully) a lifetime. Sometimes this can take a while, which can be completely fine if both partners are on the same page about it.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case for this couple. Their timelines were completely out of sync, with the girlfriend already waiting for a proposal for a few years, while the boyfriend wasn’t feeling in any rush. Tired of waiting, she decided to break things off, which, as a result, has awakened something in her partner.
Some couples wait longer before taking the next step
Young couple sitting outdoors, man holding skateboard, woman gently touching his nose, showing true colors after breakup.
Share icon
Image credits: photohobo / freepik (not the actual photo)
As did this one, but the girlfriend got tired of waiting and decided to break things off
Text post about a man proposing two months after his girlfriend dumped him, revealing his true colors when she refuses.
Text excerpt discussing couple's financial stability and early signs of marriage talks before breakup.
Text excerpt discussing delayed engagement and waiting for the right moment after a breakup rejection.
Sad woman in blue shirt looking out window, reflecting on a man who proposed after being dumped two months earlier.
Share icon
Image credits: goffkein / freepik (not the actual photo)
Text excerpt showing a woman reflecting on a past relationship and a promise before deciding to walk away peacefully.
Text describing a man proposing two months after his girlfriend dumped him and revealing his true colors when she refuses.
Hand holding red ring box with engagement ring, symbolizing man proposes two months after girlfriend dumps him.
Share icon
Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Text discussing a man proposing two months after his girlfriend dumped him and revealing his true colors when she refuses.
Text excerpt describing a man who proposes two months after his girlfriend dumped him, raising concerns about his true intentions.
Image credits: ThrowRA_Seashe
There are risks associated with waiting too long to pop the question
How long people wait to get down on one knee varies significantly among couples. But on average, 1-3 years seems to be a common engagement window for couples. Age is a significant factor when it comes to this, as younger couples may take longer to get engaged due to their careers, financial situation, and personal maturity. Older couples often take less time to commit since they have a better idea of what they want from a relationship.
Therefore, it’s not odd for younger couples to wait longer for a proposal, around 2-5 years. The delay usually means that they’re simply waiting for the right moment when life changes, like new jobs, moving, and money issues, are out of the way. As long as the postponement is not due to relationship problems and marriage is still very much in the plans, postponing the engagement shouldn’t be a big deal.
That said, there are risks associated with waiting too long to pop the question, like built-up resentment.
“Partners may find it challenging to fully enjoy their time together when they feel like they are on different pages, and underlying issues are causing feelings of negativity. Additionally, emotional tension can spill over into physical intimacy, affecting the sexual and romantic aspect of the relationship,” says therapist Brittany Pinto, LMSW.
Luckily, in healthy relationships, this can be resolved with communication. “One partner may be waiting for a milestone, like paying off their student loan or becoming more settled in their job. The other partner might be basing the timeline on emotion. If they feel ready, they may not want to wait,” says Amy Morin, LCSW. A direct conversation about this can squash the built-up resentment and allow the couple to focus on what’s happening in the relationship now rather than what the next step is.
Man proposing to girlfriend indoors during romantic dinner, capturing moment of surprise and emotional reaction.
Share icon
Image credits: Meg Aghamyan / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
“Sometimes, it’s healthy and freeing for individuals to move forward”
If no serious conversations about future plans or marriage are happening, it’s normal that doubt might be setting in. Of course, no one wants to be pressured into such a commitment, but waiting for something you want that isn’t going to happen isn’t too appealing either.
“Reiterate to your partner the reason that it’s important for you to get married. It’s important for your partner to understand why this means so much to you. Focusing on the strengths and positive moments can help shift the overall tone of the relationship,” Pinto advised.
Sometimes, when communication doesn’t help and resentment continues to build, the best thing to do might be to accept the fact that the proposal isn’t going to happen and move on.
“There are times when I’ve seen people decide to move on when a proposal didn’t happen. Sometimes, it’s healthy and freeing for individuals to move forward,” Morin says.
Many commenters supported the woman’s decision to move on
Screenshot of a Reddit conversation discussing a man proposing two months after his girlfriend dumped him and revealing his true colors.
Text conversation about a man proposing two months after breakup and showing true colors when she refuses.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man who proposes after his girlfriend dumped him, revealing his true colors.
Share icon
Text conversation showing someone explaining their feelings after being proposed to two months after a breakup, revealing true colors.
Share icon
Comment warning about man proposing two months after girlfriend dumped him, revealing true colors when refused.
Reddit conversation about a man proposes two months after girlfriend dumped him, revealing his true colors when refused.
Reddit user warns against marrying someone who proposes grudgingly after being dumped, highlighting true colors revealed.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man proposing two months after his girlfriend dumped him and showing his true colors.
Share icon
Text discussing relationship advice and considerations before accepting a proposal after a breakup and reunion.
Share icon
Text conversation about understanding true colors of a man after a breakup and deciding to stay single.
Share icon
Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about housework showing text messages between two users.
Screenshot of a Reddit conversation discussing feelings two months after a breakup and a man proposing after being dumped.
Screenshot of an online discussion about a man proposing two months after his girlfriend dumped him and showing his true colors.
Reddit comments discussing a man proposing two months after his girlfriend dumped him and his reaction when she refuses.
Reddit user discussing seeking advice after a breakup and considering therapy two months after being dumped.
Reddit user discusses a man proposing two months after breakup and revealing true colors when refused.
Man proposes two months after breakup, revealing true colors when his girlfriend refuses in emotional online story.
Text post discussing a man who proposes two months after his girlfriend dumped him, revealing his true colors.
Share icon
Text excerpt discussing a man proposing after a breakup and showing true colors when the girlfriend refuses the proposal.
Share icon
Man proposes two months after girlfriend dumped him, revealing his true colors when she refuses the low effort proposal.
Share icon
Comment discussing a man who proposes two months after his girlfriend dumped him, revealing his true colors when she refuses.
Comment text on a white background discussing a man proposing after a breakup and showing manipulative behavior with a ring.
Comment explaining how a man who delayed proposing showed his true colors after ex-girlfriend refused his late proposal.
Share icon
Man proposes two months after breakup, revealing true colors when girlfriend refuses, showing lack of respect and understanding.
Share icon
Text discussing regret and moving forward after a man proposes two months after his girlfriend dumped him.
Share icon
Screenshot of a comment discussing a man proposing after being dumped and showing his true colors when refused.
Comment discussing a man’s manipulative proposal shortly after his girlfriend dumped him, revealing his true colors.
Comment advice on relationship warning about man proposing after breakup showing true colors when refused.
Text excerpt from a breakup story about a man who planned to propose but the relationship ended before the proposal.
Share icon
Engagement ring in an open blue velvet box on a wooden surface, symbolizing man proposes after breakup.
Share icon
Image credits: EyeEm / freepik (not the actual photo)
Man proposes two months after breakup, showing true colors when girlfriend refuses to say yes and tries to move on.
Text message conversation showing a man proposing two months after his girlfriend dumped him and her refusal reveals his true colors.
Text excerpt showing a tense phone call during a breakup period, highlighting a man’s reaction after his girlfriend refuses.
Text excerpt discussing a man’s behavior two months after a breakup, revealing his true colors when refused.
Text excerpt showing emotional reaction after a man proposes two months after his girlfriend dumped him.
Share icon
Woman in plaid blazer talking on phone, reflecting emotions tied to a man proposing two months after breakup.
Share icon
Image credits: garetsvisual / freepik (not the actual photo)
Text excerpt describing a man proposing soon after a breakup and revealing his true colors when refused.
Alt text: Text conversation revealing selfish behavior and accusations after man proposes two months post-breakup.
Text message describing a man proposing two months after breakup, showing true colors when refused and offering advice.
Image credits: ThrowRA_Seashe
After the update, commenters were cheering even harder for the breakup
Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about a man proposing two months after his girlfriend dumped him and her refusal reaction.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment advising to trust yourself and recognize true colors after a man proposes following a breakup.
Screenshot of a heated Reddit conversation about a man proposing shortly after his girlfriend dumped him and her refusal reveals his true colors.
Reddit comments discussing a man proposing two months after his girlfriend dumped him and his true colors revealed.
...
