Likes, views, shares: The alarming rise of validation in the digital world

The presence of social media in modern life has transformed how humans interact, express themselves, and shape their identities.

In this increasingly technology-centric world, one phenomenon stands out: digital narcissism — an excessive tendency to showcase oneself online for attention and social validation. But what exactly does this term entail?

Though not officially classified as a mental disorder, digital narcissism reflects a culture that equates self-worth with the number of “likes”, “views”, and followers on social media. This phenomenon not only impacts emotional wellbeing but also distorts social relationships and self-esteem, particularly among younger generations who are more exposed to technology and peer influence.

In short, digital narcissism refers to self-centred online behaviour — including repeatedly posting selfies, flaunting luxurious lifestyles or exaggerated achievements, and relying on others’ reactions to validate one’s worth.

This trend is also tied to the creation of an idealised virtual identity, where users share only the “perfect” aspects of their lives while concealing flaws and real struggles. It fosters a fabricated personal image and internal pressure to constantly appear impressive, whether physically or through a curated online persona far removed from reality.

Social media as the new mirror

If people once relied on physical mirrors to assess their appearance, today’s “mirrors” are platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and BeReal. Users don’t just share information — they craft and control their online narratives, hoping for attention and approval from the digital crowd.

Social media algorithms further fuel this phenomenon. Content that grabs attention gains wider visibility, pushing users to create sensational, viral, or artificially extraordinary posts — even if they don’t reflect real life.

Toll on mental health

An addiction to online validation can harm mental health. Studies show that individuals overly dependent on social media feedback are more prone to stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem — especially when their posts don’t receive the expected engagement.

When one’s identity becomes too tied to their online image, a lack of attention or recognition can lead to feelings of worthlessness and isolation, destabilising emotional health. This struggle often manifests in difficulty managing emotions triggered by online interactions.

More alarmingly, digital narcissism can erode empathy and damage real-world relationships. When the focus shifts entirely to self-promotion, communication grows shallow, and human connection diminishes. This is a troubling trend — one where people no longer see intrinsic value in others, instead relentlessly competing for attention.

Not just a youth issue

While this phenomenon is most visible among teens and young adults, it isn’t limited to any age group. Adults, too, curate idealised online personas — whether by showcasing professional success, exclusive lifestyles, or personal milestones. The craving for social validation is a natural human trait, but when it becomes a dependency, the long-term risks to wellbeing are profound.

Striking a healthier balance

Quitting social media isn’t the solution, but fostering a mindful relationship with it is key. Here are some steps to consider:

Reevaluate your intentions — Before posting, ask yourself: Am I sharing this authentically, or just seeking validation?

Practise self-awareness — Take regular breaks from social media. A “digital detox” can restore emotional clarity.

Embrace authenticity — Share honestly — including challenges and failures. Honesty builds trust.

Avoid unrealistic comparisons — Social media is a highlight reel, not reality. Measure yourself against your own progress, not others’.

A growing movement advocates for digital balance. Many content creators now showcase unfiltered, realistic lives — proof that cultural change is possible with collective awareness.

Self-worth beyond the screen

In a world of filters, algorithms, and virtual judgments, it’s vital not to lose touch with one’s true self. A person’s value isn’t defined by followers or online reactions, but by the integrity they uphold offline.

While digital narcissism may be hard to avoid entirely, conscious self-regulation can help forge healthier, more meaningful connections with technology — without sacrificing genuine identity.

Digital tools should enhance human life, not render it fragile. Let’s reflect on this phenomenon and seek solutions for ourselves and our families, steering toward a truly Madani society.

Prof Dr Noor Ismawati Jaafar is a Professor at the Department of Decision Sciences, Faculty of Business and Economics, Universiti Malaya.