New Year, Beta (Better, pun intended) Me

EVERY year in January, people like me go all in on changing everything about themselves. We make these huge promises, but without even trying them out first.

I always say I will get super disciplined, eat right, exercise every day, all that. It feels exciting at the start. But then life gets in the way, and when things don’t stick, we blame ourselves, like it’s a character problem. It’s more like poor planning than anything.

I think we get the whole idea of new year’s wrong. January is not supposed to be this big reset where you prove your worth or whatever. It’s more like a time to watch what happens, test small stuff, see what actually works in real life.

Somewhere we picked up this notion that growth has to hurt a lot, be all dramatic. Like you throw yourself into the deep end to learn swimming, and yeah, some make it, but others just freak out or give up. The ones who get back often don’t want to try again for a while. That doesn’t mean they’re weak, it means the approach sucks.

Look at how everything else works. Companies test products in beta, governments run pilots for new policies. They expect glitches before going big. But us, we launch our life changes full force on day one, no backups.

I am guilty of it too. Every January, I turn my body into this temple thing. First couple weeks, I am strict, eating clean, working out, drinking water like its holy. My running shoes feel important.

Then February rolls in, and it all flips. Suddenly I’m eating junk, staying up late, skipping the gym. The shoes go in the closet, coffee takes over. I don’t just ease off; I quit the whole thing and act like it was temporary. It’s not fake, it’s just what happens when you push too hard without thinking. I built something in January that my real routine couldn’t handle, so it crashed, and I felt bad about myself instead of the plan.

The issue is not wanting big changes, it is thinking desire means you’re ready. January could be for figuring out problems, not forcing discipline. Spot where things rub wrong, like time or energy issues. Those matter way more than some pep talk.

Willpower fades fast anyway. It is about if the goal fits your life setup. A lot don’t, and when they fail, it is the idea that’s off, not you.

Psychologists have long documented this phenomenon as the "False Hope Syndrome." Dr Janet Polivy and Dr C. Peter Herman, experts in the psychology of self-change, observe that our resolutions are often based on an unrealistic expectation of how easy change will be and how quickly it will transform our lives.

We are frequently "in love with the idea of change" rather than the process itself. This misalignment creates a cycle where the initial burst of excitement feels like progress, but because it lacks a foundation of real-world data, it shatters at the first sign of stress.

Last year, I wrote an article arguing that it is perfectly normal not to see visible progress by the middle of the year. While that remains true, this year has revealed a harder truth.

We skip checking costs, so resolutions die quick. January’s real value lies in the friction it reveals. The alarm clock that feels aggressive, the gym routine that collapses under a work deadline, and the budgeting habit that creates low level anxiety are not signs of failure; they are pieces of intelligence.

When we moralise friction, we waste it. When we study it, we learn. Clinical psychologists often suggests that we should treat ourselves like "scientists in our own lives". If an experiment fails, a scientist doesn't tell themselves they are a bad person; they look at the variables. They ask if the temperature was wrong or if the timing was off.

A research mindset grants us the permission to discard bad hypotheses. Not every resolution deserves to reach February. Many of our goals are inherited rather than chosen, stemming from productivity culture or social media rather than genuine need.

Dropping these goals early is not a sign of quitting; it is sound decision making. Discipline without alignment is not a virtue; it is merely self-punishment with better branding.

January should function like an annual review rather than a sentencing hearing. It is the space where we ask what is workable, what is excessive, and what is simply performative. It is the phase where goals should shrink to a manageable size, becoming precise rather than dramatic.

At the end of the month, the question of whether you stuck to a goal is largely useless. The only question that carries weight is this: knowing what I now know about the cost, the friction and the impact on my actual life, would I choose this again? If the answer is no, the month has been a success because it has provided the data necessary to pivot.

Commitment should never be fuelled by excitement alone. True commitment must be earned through contact with reality. February is a much better month for commitment because it is quieter and less crowded with the expectations of others. By the second month of the year, only the goals with structural integrity remain standing.

Muhammad Naim Muhamad Ali, PhD, better known as Naim Leigh, teaches Communication and Media Studies at the University of Wollongong Malaysia. The views expressed are the authors' own and do not necessarily reflect those of Sinar Daily.