'Balls Up' Movie Ending Explained: Who Saved Brad And Elijah From Dying?
8 hours ago
Balls Up’s ending was all about Brad and Elijah being saved from the clutches of the Brazilian people and administration by an unexpected ally. What had Brad and Elijah done to attract the ire of the entirety of Brazil? Well, it started with an idea; an idea to make Regal Blue Condom Company’s tentpole product, the titular condom (or as Brad likes to call it, The Testicle Sentinel), one of the sponsors of the 2025 football World Cup that was happening in Brazil. Even though expectations were non-existent, Brad and Elijah managed to woo Artur Santos and the entire Travel Ministry from Brazil, and Regal Blue got the prestigious contract. But, while celebrating this business arrangement, Santos made a fool of himself, which prompted the President of Brazil to fire him and also cancel the contract with Regal Blue. That in turn resulted in Brad and Elijah’s firing because, as per Bosswoman Burgess, they were the ones responsible for getting Santos drunk. That wasn’t all; Raoul, Jeremy, and several other employees were collateral damage in Burgess’ cost-cutting exercise to keep Regal Blue afloat. Now, due to some clerical error, Brad and Elijah got invited to the World Cup final in Brazil (which was a part of their contract before Santos got fired), and since they had nothing better to do, they accepted the request. Things were going fine until Elijah got drunk and tackled the mascot of their rival company, Champ Condoms (who had secured the sponsorship deal with the Brazil government). Elijah and the mascot’s fight spilled onto the pitch and when Brad tried to stop them from taking things too far, he ended up ruining the Brazilian team’s chances of winning the cup. As punishment, Jessel Cristos, the Minister of Defense, threw out Brad and Elijah onto the streets of Brazil, in the hopes that the footballing-loving folk would tear these Americans to pieces for costing the country the match. What happened next? Let’s find out.
Spoiler Alert
Brad And Elijah’s Harrowing OrdealWhile running through the streets of Rio de Janeiro, Brad and Elijah were reunited with Santos, who had lost everything, and was now unemployed and broke; yet, he was willing to help out Brad and Elijah because he considered them to be his amigos. Santos tried to get Brad and Elijah to the US Embassy because the ambassador and their staff would not only protect these two Americans but also arrange safe passage back to their home country for them. That was interrupted by Pavio Curto, who kidnapped Brad and Elijah to thank them for inadvertently helping him make a lot of money because Curto had bet against the Brazilian team on that fateful day. Since Brad and Elijah were unemployed, they struck a deal with Curto, who wanted to use Balls Up to deliver cocaine internationally; he made Brad and Elijah consume the condoms filled with cocaine, thereby turning them into drug mules. Curto got attacked by his rivals, the Cardosa cartel, and he died. Brad and Elijah escaped in a truck that was leaving Curto’s estate, but when that crashed in the woods, they had to navigate through the jungle and find a way out of there. They had to make a pit stop though, in order to poop out the cocaine condoms, which were then consumed by a caiman (I wish I was making all this up). Brad assumed it’d lead to a Cocaine Bear or Cocaine Shark situation, but the caiman just croaked because of the cocaine overdose, which seemed pretty realistic.
Brad And Elijah Met Cristo AgainGiven how Brad and Elijah were extremely hungry, they ate the caiman, and that was recorded on a CCTV camera which had been put up there by an anti-poaching group of nomads. When they found out about it, they chased Brad and Elijah with the intention of killing them. Brad and Elijah hijacked the anti-poaching group’s raft and escaped down the Iguazu River. I will spare you the details of what happened overnight while they were drifting on the Iguazu River because it’s too NSFW to talk about here. The following day, Cristo found Brad and Elijah, and he ordered them to board his boat, go back to Rio, do their time in prison (which’d include 1 year of hard labor), and then return home (considering they survived the ordeal). However, Brad and Elijah rejected his request, because they were of the opinion that they had been punished enough by Brazil and Brazilians. So, Cristo let them be, because he knew that the Iguazu Falls would deliver a punishment that none of the prisons of Brazil could. By the time Brad and Elijah realized that they had doomed themselves by not accepting Cristo’s proposal, it was too late, and they found themselves hurtling down the Iguazu Falls. While Elijah stayed conscious, the fall knocked out Brad; hence, Elijah had to drag Brad out of the water. No, he didn’t need to be resuscitated; Brad regained consciousness right as Elijah was about to administer CPR.
Brad And Elijah Were Saved By CortezAfter regaining their bearings, Brad and Elijah thought that they were about to commence Round 2 of surviving Brazil. However, in the ending, Isadora Cortez of the Agencia Federal de Inteligencia and the Argentinian army showed up to welcome Brad and Elijah with open arms, because if it wasn’t for those 2 idiots, Argentina wouldn’t have won the World Cup final. Earlier, when Brad and Elijah were detained, Cortez had presented herself as Antonia Costa, a public defender who wanted to take up their case. But Elijah was worried that she’d be shunned from society if she represented 2 of the most hated men in Brazil and, hence, he fired her. Cortez then showed up at Curto’s house (no, it wasn’t the Cardosa cartel) but since Brad and Elijah flew the coop, Cortez was unable to get a hold of them. To be honest, Cortez’s efforts to “save” Brad and Elijah were kinda idiotic. I mean, I understand that she couldn’t have told them that she was from Argentina and that they had to play along so that she could whisk them away and give them safe haven in Argentina. However, she could have toned down the details of the (fake) harassment she would face for representing Brad and Elijah; maybe then Elijah wouldn’t have freaked out and he wouldn’t have fired her. But the fact that Elijah was worried about this young girl who he didn’t even know showed that he was genuinely a nice guy. If Elijah was a selfish man, then he would have accepted Cortez’s offer. Sure, that would have saved them the trouble of running all over Brazil, but the thought that he was ready to jeopardize a young public defender’s life for the sake of his safety would have haunted Elijah forever. So, maybe it was a good thing that he rejected Cortez’s deal. The shootout at Curto’s house though was actually idiotic. Cortez and her team were seemingly shooting at random and hoping to kill Curto and his gang. Any one of those bullets could have hit them and killed them. Therefore, in a way, it’s a good thing that Brad and Elijah’s fight-or-flight mechanism kicked in and they ran for it.
Brad And Elijah Settled Down In ArgentinaThe harrowing ordeal also changed both Brad and Elijah for the better. Brad became more of a team-player, and Elijah gained a lot of confidence in himself. Hence, when he took the Balls Up offer to the government of Argentina, they accepted it and made Regal Blue (yes, they were rehired by Bosswoman Burgess) the official condom supplier of that country. Because of that, Burgess was able to bring back her old employees, including Raoul and Jeremy, to the company; and all of them were invited to the victory parade of the Argentinian football team. I suppose Santos was compensated appropriately because he was spotted on the victory tour bus enjoying himself with Monique (a Regal Blue employee). Technically, that made him a traitor, but given how he had already gone through the ringer, I think it was fine that he was living it up a bit. During the closing moments of the film, we learned that Brad and Elijah had settled down in Argentina; not as a couple, but as representatives of Regal Blue. In addition to that, the government erected a statue of the moment that cost Brazil its goal, and Brad and Elijah were both confused and honored by that gesture. So, I suppose that the learning lesson here is that even if you hit rock bottom, you shouldn’t give up entirely because, maybe while you were in the process of hitting rock bottom, you did some good deeds. And although the saying is that “no good deed goes unpunished,” there’s a possibility that some of your good deeds will attract some rewards. As for sequel possibilities, I totally see the people of Brazil going after Brad and Elijah in Balls Up 2. I mean, there are so many Brazilian folks that Brad and Elijah irked throughout their rollercoaster ride of an odyssey; Cristo, the poachers, Curto’s gang members, and the entire population of Brazil. How are they going to react once they see them being championed by Argentinians? Let me know in the comments section below.
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