'Half Man' Episode 4 Recap & Ending Explained: Is Ruben Dead?

In the present-day section of Half Man episode 3, Ruben showed up at Niall and Alby’s wedding, thereby prompting the couple to consider running away. But after some contemplation, they decided to face Ruben and see how it went. On that note, the show flashbacked to the time when Niall graduated from university; he was “dating” Joanna, Alby was coming out of the coma that Ruben had put him in, and Ruben wanted Niall to lie about the circumstances under which he had beaten up Alby so he could avoid going to jail for over a decade. Of course, Niall wasn’t okay with lying for Ruben, because it wasn’t like he had accidentally hurt Alby; it was essentially a hate crime. Yet, Lori convinced Niall to “do the right thing,” because Maura had cancer and it’d be criminal to keep the mother and son apart during these difficult times. In addition to that, Lori was sure that Ruben had changed for the better, given how he was doing community service and whatnot. When Niall saw the amicable relationship that Ruben had established with the kids at the community center, he believed whatever Lori was saying was true. In fact, he was ready to go to court and lie to the judge that Alby had groped Ruben and Ruben had acted in self-defense. However, when Niall saw Alby sitting in the court, and he saw how horribly scarred he was, he “betrayed” his family and sent Ruben to jail. On that note, the episode returned to the present day to show Ruben getting ready to tell all the guests at the wedding about the “real Niall.”  What happened next? Let’s find out.

Spoiler Alert

Niall Reunites With Gus

Half Man episode 4 opens in the present day, and we see the guests and the police rushing towards the barn where we saw Ruben beating the hell out of Niall. The clock is turned back a few minutes and we are taken to the moment where Ruben is giving his speech about Niall. He shares an anecdote where Niall and Ruben were playing hide and seek and Niall apparently tricked Ruben into hiding for a prolonged period of time so that he could dig into Ruben’s birthday cake. When that short story comes to an end, Ruben hugs Niall and we abruptly cut to the flashback section of the show, where Niall is having sex with a random dude in his car while four men are standing outside, watching on and pleasuring themselves. Yeah, I know, “bizarre” is an understatement. After that, Niall goes to the library and, given how he doesn’t have the money to print the “proposal for his follow-up novel,” and he has to steal books so that he can sell them to make ends meet, he is struggling. Sometime in the last few years, Niall had published a novel, but it’s evident that he hasn’t been able to maintain the momentum and, hence, he has fallen upon tough times. Still, the receptionist helps out Niall because he seems like a nice lad. Daniel, his publisher, isn’t as kind as the receptionist though, and he tells Niall to his face that his writing is garbage, and it doesn’t matter if he’s presenting it to him on printed paper or via email. He thinks that Niall has potential but since he isn’t being authentic, his writing is suffering. Niall goes back to his flat and tries to do what Daniel has asked him to do, but he gives up almost immediately and goes to the parking lot where random men have sex with random men while other random men spectate and pleasure themselves (no more than 4 are allowed to spectate, I guess). 

Niall realizes that the man he’s watching is actually Gus, the guy who used to bully Niall and then got beaten up by Ruben, and they both panic. I have to take a pause and question this whole setup. How can this be satisfying in any way? How is this even safe? Why go through all this trouble? I’m not entirely sure about the time period when this flashback is taking place, but I think adult films would’ve been available and accessible. So, why not use that and achieve satisfaction in a discreet fashion? If this is some kind of a rebellion against decades of homophobia and oppression, why be surprised when you run into your old mate? You are in a grimy-looking parking lot in the middle of nowhere and your genitals are out in front of 5 other men, who are doing the same thing that you are doing. Therefore, I don’t think “shame” is exactly a factor here. Also, does this actually happen in real life or is this a figment of Richard Gadd’s imagination? Based on everything we know about Baby Reindeer, Gadd does draw from real-life experiences. If that’s the case here, what’s the point? I’m sure there are brothels out there that deliver this kinda service. Why this setup? Just because it’s free? Well, the human condition never ceases to amaze me.

Gus Reveals That Ruben Has Gotten Out Of Jail

After realizing that he was about to pleasure himself to Gus, Niall runs away, and Gus goes after him. He essentially begs Niall to go to the nearest pub and have some drinks so that they can catch up. Niall realizes that Gus isn’t actually interested in being friends with him; he just wants to make sure that Niall doesn’t decide to take revenge for what he did to him all those years ago and tell Gus’ family about his erotic escapades. Given how Niall can’t say “No” to anyone, he obliges Gus’ request. They get chatting about their respective sexual preferences, and eventually the topic of Ruben comes up. Niall is shocked to learn that Gus ran into Ruben a few days ago because, according to his calculations, Ruben should still be in jail. To prove that Gus didn’t mistake some stranger for Ruben, he pulls out Ruben’s business card and gives it to Niall. Without wasting another second, Niall rushes to Lori’s house to check if she knows about Ruben’s release from jail. Lori shocks Niall by revealing that she is aware of the fact that Ruben is out. While Lori is beating around the bush about the extent of her bond with Maura and Ruben, we learn that, after Niall sent Ruben to jail, Maura broke up with Lori. Eventually, they patched things up, and even though they don’t live together anymore, Lori keeps in touch with Maura. 

Furthermore, Lori says that Ruben was actually released from jail about 2 years ago, and they have met with each other occasionally. This sends a shiver down Niall’s spine, but Lori tries to make him see the positive side of this. Ever since Ruben went to jail, Niall has lived with this fear in his heart that, when Ruben comes out, he’s gonna wreak havoc on his life. Lori points out that since, in the last 2 years, Ruben hasn’t shown up in Niall’s peripheral vision, it must mean that he has no intention of hurting him. Niall doesn’t buy that, because he thinks that Ruben is planning something big for him. So, he rushes back to his flat and gets rid of all the homoerotic stuff he has in his possession. What’s the point of that? It’s not a secret anymore that he is gay. Yet he’s afraid that if Ruben finds out, he’s gonna somehow use that against him. I mean, if the man has been out for the past 2 years, and has been in touch with Lori, it’s obvious that he knows that Niall is gay. Hence, it’s useless to hide who he truly is from Ruben. But I get it; Niall isn’t thinking rationally. He has again become the kind of person he was during his uni days, and he is trying to mask his homosexuality by doing something heterosexual. 

Niall Learns Ruben Is Doing Well In Life

Back then, Niall used to trick Joanna into thinking that he was in love with her so that he’d come off as a “normal guy” in front of Ruben. He kinda resorts to that same method as he asks Joanna to meet him at a diner; but thankfully, Joanna is married and has kids, and that means Niall can’t exploit her feelings anymore. And before Niall can say anything, Joanna drops a bombshell on his head by revealing that she too “bumped into” Ruben some time ago. The most surprising part is that Ruben apparently apologized to her for everything he did back in the day; it was supposedly a part of a ritual that he was doing where he was going around and saying sorry to everyone he had wronged. Niall believes that, more than anyone else, he is the one who has been affected the most by Ruben’s toxicity; so, Ruben should be apologizing to him first of all. Niall reveals that the trauma inflicted upon him by Ruben is the reason why he dropped out of Oxford. Joanna points out that Niall said that he dropped out because he disliked the overall snooty atmosphere of that college. 

Niall realizes that he’s been caught in a lie and he claims that he dropped out because he disliked the college’s vibes and also because he was dealing with the emotional scars left on his soul by Ruben. Joanna advises Niall to put this Ruben affair on the backburner, but Niall refuses to do so, because he seemingly needs some form of closure from him. He wants to understand why he got the short end of the stick after everything he has been through, while Ruben comes out of jail and gets a swanky job and a stable romantic life. Joanna essentially says that that whole endeavor is pointless, because until and unless Niall accepts that he has squandered every opportunity he has gotten at making a name for himself, he won’t be able to make any progress. Sure, Ruben was to blame for everything that happened to Niall until his university years. However, after he went to jail, Niall was free to become anybody he wanted to become, and he chose to turn into an unemployed writer who uses the public library and that parking lot to fulfil his freakiest desires. Instead of taking these words to heart, Niall continues his oddball behavior, and then goes back to his flat to obsess over Ruben’s life via the internet. The revelation about Ruben’s possible salary sends him over the edge, and he decides to go all the way to Ruben’s house and stalk him.

Niall Gets Extorted By Nigel

Niall finds out that Ruben has married Mona; yes, the same Mona who “took” Niall’s virginity, that too in Ruben’s presence. He goes through their social media and sees that they have been “happily married” for a while and they take good care of Maura too (who seems to look very catatonic). Given how Niall hasn’t been in touch with his past life, he doesn’t know why Maura looks like that. So, he goes back to Lori for some clarification on this matter. We learn that Maura’s cancer was cured but, somewhere down the line, she decided to die by suicide, supposedly beacuse she was unable to deal with her health, her finances, Ruben’s incarceration, and the separation from Lori. The suicide attempt wasn’t successful but it caused permanent damage to her brain; hence, Ruben got in touch with Lori so that she would look after her until he was released (Maura’s health might be the reason Ruben was released early). Niall is afraid that Lori might be as lonely as Maura, and she might try to kill herself as well; which is why he apologizes for not being around enough. Lori realizes that Niall is about to start blaming herself for Maura’s condition, which is why she repeatedly warns him to not beat himself about it. Does Niall accept Lori’s advice? Nope. 

Niall goes to his flat, scrolls through Ruben’s social media, and starts a new draft of his novel where he states that he destroyed his brother’s life. He heads over to the library to print it for free, but this time the receptionist doesn’t allow it because his boss, Nigel, has put his foot down and is preventing the receptionist from doing Niall any favors. So, Niall sends the draft to Daniel via email and then proceeds to “get it on” with a stranger in the library’s toilet. Nigel puts a stop to that, invites him over to his office, and reprimands him for not only having a mountain of outstanding dues, but also desecrating this place of knowledge with his uncouth activities. Niall thinks he can get away by simply paying his dues, but Nigel uses this opportunity to exploit and extort Niall. After the first few times, Nigel installed cameras in the toilet and recorded every single romp Niall has partaken in. Why target only Niall though, when a lot of other men are involved? Because Nigel knows that Niall is the only one who will bow down before him to prevent the leak of those videos on the internet. And he’s right, because instead of threatening Nigel with police action for secretly recording videos of him without his consent, Niall goes off to collect the 2000 pounds that he’s demanding. 

Niall Learns That Ruben “Owns” Him

Niall asks Joanna first, and she refuses to give him that kinda money, because she needs to take care of her own family. Niall then goes to Lori, and she obviously doesn’t have 2000 pounds lying around. That said, she says that she can ask Ruben to lend her the amount and then give it to Niall. That causes Niall to get angry, because he can’t believe that his mother wants to seek the help of the architect of all of Niall’s problems. Lori admits that she is sick of Niall’s incessant whining and finger-pointing. She tells him that he has reached that stage in life where he should hold himself accountable instead of blaming his failures on “trauma.” He had a lot of time to get over the past and move forward, but he didn’t because he derived some kind of pleasure by marinating in this pool of self-pity and finding faults in everyone’s (especially Ruben’s) actions. Since he has run out of options now, he should either let her do the heavy-lifting for him (because she has done it before) or go to Ruben himself and beg for money. Niall ignores everything that Lori says and focuses on the part where she says that she has asked Ruben for money in the past to make Niall happy. 

As Lori starts listing all the things that Ruben has paid for, Niall absolutely loses his mind. He realizes that Ruben essentially “owns” him, and his self-worth is basically zero. He thinks that this is Ruben’s way of getting back at him and he wishes he’d just kill him instead of making him so miserable. Niall gets yet another reality check, courtesy of Lori, as she says that Ruben doesn’t need to “destroy” Niall to get his revenge, because Niall is self-destructive enough to do that job for him. To balance out that harsh statement, Lori shows a bit of optimism and says that Niall still has time to turn things around if he just stops living in the past and works on building a sustainable future for himself; and a major step towards doing that is giving up on his dreams of becoming a writer (because it’s possible that he doesn’t have the talent for that) and working a 9-to-5 job. Does Niall accept Lori’s advice? Nope. He goes back to Ruben’s house and, when Ruben and Mona have gone to sleep, he vandalizes his car. Since that sets off the anti-theft alarm, Niall goes on the run, with Ruben hot on his tail. Niall manages to hide and avoid getting caught by Ruben.

Niall And Ruben Have A Brutal Showdown

Once the coast is clear, Niall heads back to this car and drives off. When he is driving off, he sees Ruben looking at him like a hawk; as if all of this was a part of his elaborate plan to mess with Niall. Niall gets so distracted by Ruben’s gaze that he gets into a traffic collision. Ruben takes him to the hospital, and when Niall wakes up, they have a long verbal and physical battle about who has inflicted more trauma on the other person. Niall thinks Ruben is at fault, and Ruben thinks Niall is at fault. They go back and forth for a long time until Niall admits that he’s jealous and afraid of Ruben. He is jealous that he’ll never be as awesome as Ruben, and he is afraid that if Ruben ever sees him be even a tad bit successful, he’s gonna kill him. He accepts the fact that he is self-destructive and that he has destroyed every chance of achieving his goals because he has been stuck in this cycle of hating on Ruben yet wanting to be like Ruben.

Niall knows that he doesn’t have an identity of his own, because he only wants to be Ruben. And during the closing moments of this epic showdown (performed to perfection by Gadd and Jamie Bell), Niall reveals how he has allowed himself to be exploited by Nigel. Ruben insinuates that he can beat the ever-loving hell out of Nigel and free Niall from his clutches, but Niall says that he just wants to pay off Nigel (because it’s true that he has exploited Nigel). Ruben says that he’ll give Niall the money if he apologizes for everything that he has done to him. Niall obliges the request and, surprisingly enough, Ruben also apologizes for the hurt that he has inflicted on Niall’s life. They hug it out, and the episode cuts to the present day where Niall and Ruben are hugging in front of the guests. Ruben asks Alby and Niall to stand together so that he can toast to the couple and wish them good luck for the next chapter of their lives. After this, we get a flashforward where we see that the police have broken into the barn where Ruben has been raining punches on Niall. As Alby and the guests wait with bated breath to learn the aftermath of that fight, Lori rushes in to pull the cover off the body of the deceased.

Ruben Is Dead

I guess everyone and their mums was expecting the dead body to be that of Niall’s, but the ending of episode 4 reveals that it’s Ruben who has died. This may come as a surprise to some, but not me, because I had predicted this outcome in episode 2 when Lori gave Niall his father’s sgian-dub. I said that, if things got rough, Niall’s gonna use it to kill Ruben, and well, that’s exactly what has happened. The first three episodes have used flashbacks to provide context for everything that’s happening in the present. However, the flashback in the fourth episode has been used to confuse us, because why did the brothers go from burying the hatchet and hugging it out to killing each other on Niall’s wedding day? I was under the impression that Niall and the rest of the guests were afraid of Ruben’s arrival at the wedding because he had finally come out of jail after his incarceration in around 1989. And that would have made sense, because of course Ruben would come to ruin the best day of Niall’s life after he ruined decades of Ruben’s life. But, no, that’s not the case; Ruben got freedom a long time ago, he repaired his bond with Niall, and it seemed like things were good for both parties. So, what could have caused this debacle that ended in Ruben’s death? 

Well, as pointed out by Niall, Ruben was as self-destructive as him. Therefore, there’s a good chance that Ruben lost everything (his job, his wife, etc.) and, much like how Niall blamed Ruben for his failures, Ruben blamed Niall for his failures. Maybe they had yet another brutal falling out after Maura’s death, and that’s why Niall was seen dreading Ruben attending his wedding. You know what? Going by the smirk on the deceased Ruben’s face, I think he has gotten himself killed to completely ruin Niall’s life. I don’t know if that’s a “masculine” or “macho” thing to do. That said, if Ruben is as vindictive and toxic as I think he’s, there’s a distinct possibility that he has framed Niall for murder, thereby forcing him to “walk a mile in his boots.” If Niall doesn’t survive the ordeal, he loses whatever messed-up psychosexual game they have been playing ever since they met each other. If Niall survives the ordeal, he still loses, because the credit of his transformation will go to Ruben. Well, that’s what I think is going on. If you have any alternate theories, feel free to share them in the comments section below.

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